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Bar Estrella

Don't be put off by the locals staring at you like you're the Thames whale. This is a truly authentic Portuguese bar and they're just being Portuguese, so you're going to have to deal with it, ok? Ditch your tie, find a bit of grass to chew on and grow some stubble. It feels a bit more like a European café than a bar – what with the punters' professional slouching and the gorgeous-looking pastries provocatively winking at you from the cabinet (don't they know you've got a faithful casserole back at home?). Best of all, beer is only £1.60 a bottle, which might even put a smile on Mourinho's face.

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