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Fitness First

Yeah, yeah, so you all know the drill with these places. They're not the swankiest, and if you're a member you'll devote significant amounts of time to whingeing about having your nose up Vicky Pollard's armpit as you fight for the free weights, but at least it gets the job done. Plus, what with Itchy's Uncle Tony having schooled us throughout our youth about how sitting over the road from one of these was the best way to check out totty, there's at least some painless benefits to the place. So long as you don't end up wincing at the mingers.

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