Keston Lodge

Keston Lodge is a lesson to bar owners everywhere. You can take a spot–on track record – Embassy, Lock Tavern –, a decent makeover – mezzanine, mini garden, slouchy furniture, pretty bar staff – and a world of brunch, lunch, cocktail and coffee offerings, but you can't stop a venue on Upper Street from attracting complete twats. Any night of the week you'll find the Lodge bereft of any style, filled with growling men with bellies the size of small countries and girls with corned beef legs. The air will smell of sweat and the Lynx effect will have girls with make–up smeared over their boob tubes gyrating over the furniture. Boys: if you're getting excited, really, don't. Pop your head round the door during the day or buckle up for a night of puke and pissheads. Only just better than its days as an All Bar One.

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